Sam Rose - Head of Content

Sam Rose

17th October 2014

Is Your Website The Walking Dead?

This week saw the return of a rather popular zombie TV show, so in honour of that I’m drawing some comparisons between those undead nuisances and improving your online presence – the general takeaway of this being, if you hadn’t already guessed, that your website should not bear any resemblance to a zombie.

So without further awkward shuffling and requests for brains, here’s a list of zombie things your website definitely shouldn’t do:

1. Be slow

Zombies are dreadfully slow, and a bit clumsy as well - they really move with no agility at all, which is the opposite of what you want your website to do. Your website should be fast, responsive and smooth. If zombies performed as well as your website should, The Walking Dead would have probably only lasted one or two episodes before all the characters met their sticky end.

2. Be unpleasant to look at

Zombies are not pretty. All that blood, dirt, ragged clothes and general rotting doesn’t make for great eye candy, nor does it make for a role model for your website design. Think bold and clean, not undead and green.

3. Maintain damage

If a zombie gets cut, bruised, or otherwise attacked or damaged, they don’t heal, and they don’t even seem to care. You shouldn’t be so apathetic, though - if your website has any bugs, reduced functionality, or if you have received feedback from your visitors on something that needs to be improved, you should be looking into it to resolve any problems. Even if there are no problems, you should still be continuously looking to improve the user experience.

4. Be predictable

All zombies do is wander around trying to attack people. How very predictable. On the one hand, at least you know what you’re getting if you happen to run into one, but on the other hand it’s all been done already, hasn’t it? Your website should be a bit more original than that, and show off your unique selling points, giving the user an interesting and exciting experience.

5. Have no emotions

Zombies are heartless creatures, not to mention mindless. When your customers visit your website they should get a sense of who you are, what you can do for them, and maybe they will even feel that it’s the start of a great relationship. You wouldn’t get that with a zombie, that’s for sure.

6. Make people run away

Imagine there’s a zombie ambling towards you. What do you do? You probably wouldn’t run up to it and give it a hug, no matter how inviting its outstretched arms might look. If you’re sensible (and if you don’t have any weapons to hand), your first reaction would be to run away, and fast. Make sure your website doesn’t evoke the same response from your potential customers.

7. Want to eat human flesh

Your website definitely should not do this.

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